Here are the final five questions that I would like for singles to ask themselves:
Can You Live with Your Prospective Mate’s Current Faults?
He or she may not handle money very well. Can you live with that? Or perhaps the individual has been deceitful. Can you live with that? Maybe your potential spouse has an eating disorder. Can you live with that problem? Whatever the issue is, you need to have open and honest communication about it before getting married.
Is This Person Giving?
If the person you want to marry is interested only in receiving, and rarely (if ever) in giving, that will be a problem. This behavior indicates selfishness. In a marriage, you need someone to encourage you, lift you up, and give to you unselfishly. You want someone who looks for ways to give to you and bless you.
Do the Two of You Communicate Effectively?
Open communication is essential to a successful marriage. As a couple, do you effectively communicate your feelings and ideas? Do you know how to tell each other what you need in the relationship and how you feel about the relationship?
Is Your Prospective Mate Your Best Friend?
Friendship is the foundation of a good marriage. Friends will lay down their lives for friends. Have you chosen someone who will lay down his or her life for you? In other words, does your potential mate sacrifice self-interests or plans for you? If you marry someone who is not willing to make these sacrifices, you may end up with someone who is undependable and inaccessible.
If You or Your Potential Mate Is Divorced, Do You Both Know Why the Divorce Took Place?
To begin the healing process after a divorce, ask God to forgive you for your part in the divorce and ask your former spouse for forgiveness as well. This allows healing to take place and a fresh start to begin. Then, ask yourself, Am I looking for someone to come and rescue me and take care of me, or am I looking for someone I can give to? Have I really changed—spiritually, emotionally, and morally? These are also important questions you should answer before you accept a marriage proposal. This will assist you in making a wise choice the second time around.
As a pastor and a former therapist, one of the things that has really amazed me through the years is that different people come with the same problems, but they have different perspectives about their problems because their perspectives are based on a different set of criteria. And they’re all making decisions based on that set criteria.
As Christians, we must establish the Word of God as the basis for every decision we make in our lives. When we understand and live this reality, we end up in a good place because we’re making wise decisions.
-Pastor Creflo Dollar
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